2010 Reflection

Some of 2010's highlights

I've seen a few bloggers summarizing their experiences of 2010 and intentions for 2011 in a word (or five). Here are mine, good and bad, with brief explanations:

Positive:
1.  Friendship - DAMN I have some amazing friends.  Seriously.  The kind that I can really say are "my people."  Most of them are scattered around California, though I have reconnected with a couple of wonderful friends back in Auckland.  And of course the fabulous women I met through the Flying Lessons e-course and through blogland in general.
2.  Creativity - it's been quite a year of it.  I've made jewelry, painted, taken classes in sewing and needle-felting and soap-making (I think I did them all this year at least), knitted a scarf, made cards, baked and decorated cakes, taken photos...
3.  Activity - I trained for and completed a half-marathon with two of the aforementioned amazing friends.  I also feel like I can finally say , age 29, that I can swim (albeit only 25 yards at a time). 
4.  Discovery - Through training for the half-marathon, I discovered discipline I didn't know I had but have always wanted.  I also discovered new interests and enjoyment in all the crafts I tried. 
5.  Fun - all of the above!  I also saw some fantastic concerts at the Hollywood Bowl, had some great nights out dancing, and a hundred other days and moments of fun throughout 2010.


The other kind:
1.  Clusterf*ck - the year started off with a clusterf*ck of epic proportions on the work front.  Somehow, I survived what felt unsurvivable.  Enough said.
2.  Upheaval - the move back to NZ.  I have had several years in a row of upheaval, I guess generally of my own creating.  I'm ready for that to stop.
3.  Frustration - again mostly with the move back here, the difficulties in getting jewelry supplies, pulling out of the craft show, and then my feelings on the jewelry I made this year also.
4.  Boredom (periodically) - this cropped up throughout the year, despite all the fun and activity.  It looms overhead now too during this period of unemployment, but I've been keeping it at bay this last week by sewing.  More on that to come...
5.  Stress - the move again.  Since that took many months of planning and consideration, I felt like much of 2010 was overshadowed by this.

What I want for 2011:
1.  Discipline - I loved experiencing this during my half-marathon training this year.  I have always thought of myself as quite an undisciplined person that can't finish anything.  I love that that's changing.  I've signed up to start a Postgraduate Diploma in Health Management via extramural study, so I'm going to need discipline to juggle that and the new job with everything else I want to do in 2011.
2.  Peace - more tea-drinking, more yoga, more meditation.  More mindfulness and pausing and calm.  More acceptance and letting-go of those things that really need to be let go of already!
3.  Fun - again!  In 2010 I think I gained a better sense of what I find fun -- physical challenges, creativity, learning new skills, the occasional night out -- and a better sense of what I don't -- going to events out of obligation, spending time with people that I don't really connect with.  I'd love to improve my swimming enough to complete a mini-triathlon.  I also want to do the Tough Guy/Gal Challenge (extreme mud-run!) and am contemplating the full Auckland Marathon.  I have this strong urge to try Stand-Up Paddling.  I also want to keep learning, and keep taking art/craft classes and workshops.  Last but definitely not least, I want to continue to meet more of "my people" who will join me in all these adventures.
4.  Comfort - hopefully around May 2011, I'll be in a position to find Kenzo and I a new (rented) home to call our own.  I have to pretty much start over with acquiring all new household furniture and items, so I want to really create a comfortable haven for us.
5.  And now, I need your suggestions.  I can't think of a fifth that doesn't fit in with one of the others.  What would you suggest?

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Xmas Feast

My Xmas plate

As promised, here are the photos of the Xmas lunch I cooked for my family.  Err yes, there were only five of us...

Oysters with bacon, avocado, and chives

Sourdough bruschetta with basil, tomatoes, asparagus, and feta

Shrimp, grapefruit, and avocado salad

Salmon and portobello mushroom tart

Roasted potatoes, red bell peppers, and baby carrots with rosemary

Fruit mince tarts, and chocolate-dipped strawberries (forgot to take a photo of the pecan pie)

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Decisions

Thank you SO much for the kind words of support about my last post, I am incredibly grateful to each of you.

Those long-awaited supplies finally arrived today. My blood boiled when I saw the mailing date on the envelope - November 10th, a full 3.5 weeks after I had paid and after the seller had almost immediately marked the item as "Shipped" on Etsy. I would understand if it had been mailed within a few days after I paid and it was just the postal service or customs' fault for delaying delivery, but that wasn't the case. The actual delivery only took 5 days from the U.S. to Auckland.

My business cards and labels also arrived -- they look AWFUL. The image is unsharp and dark and the business cards are flimsy and cheap. Thankfully Vistaprint have a satisfaction guarantee and have refunded my money.

A good friend emailed me, suggesting that by wanting to give up now I appeared to be choosing pessimism and putting roadblocks up to my own success. I've been pondering this, the source of my willingness to pack it all in when only a few months ago I was so excited to devote the next year to really giving Art & Clasp a shot. I have had some personal situations that have left me feeling like I have few resources left to deal with frustration. Additionally, a big part of it is financial - I am struggling on my very low, very part-time paycheck. After paying for gas, which I seem to constantly be putting in the car, my handful of monthly expenses, and assorted Kenzo-related costs, there is not a lot left. Living with my parents, far from everything, is proving to be much more difficult than I anticipated. So my recent experiences with wasting money on sub-standard supplies has really hurt.

But mainly, I think the problem is that I am not proud of the jewelry I make. I feel like it is assembly work with pre-made charms and images that anyone could do. As you probably know, I don't make those pretty images in the pendants myself, I buy them on Etsy - and I am always acutely embarrassed when someone thinks I do make them myself. A hole punch, a bit of glue, choosing a few charms, some opening and closing of jump rings, what is talented and creative about that? Even some of the lovely comments you left, using words like "unique" and "lovely" and "beautiful" -- I feel like they are not warranted. If I made those images (and I have tried unsuccessfully), or handmade the charms, I would be proud of my products. But as it stands I feel kind of like a sham, gluing a few pieces together and calling it "handmade" creativity.

This (and my last post) are NOT an attempt to fish for compliments or encouragement. I just want to explain where my head is at, and not appear like a child stamping my foot and throwing everything away because something isn't immediately going my way. So for now, I have decided to put my Etsy shop back on vacation, while I figure out my next steps.

What I really want to do is work on my painting so that I can eventually put those into pendants. There are a couple of painting workshops in the new year at universities here in Auckland that I would like to take (there are some wonderful workshops online, but after signing up and paying for one I discovered the internet connection at my parents' house is too slow to handle the videos for it...). In the meantime, I've accepted that I need to find fulltime work in order to find a place to live and to fund any future creative attempts.

Wow, this is a long post. If you read this far, thank you! I am so very grateful to have my online friends and community. Thanks for being wonderful!

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Craft Markets, Displays, Business Cards -- Money!!

The Aotea Centre, venue for the Auckland Art & Craft Fair on December 11th, 2010

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you might have seen that I was accepted as a vendor at the Auckland Art & Craft Fair on December 11th. I am thrilled about this – the Fair ran for the first time in July of this year while I was still in the U.S. and I was so excited to see this sign of the growth of the handmade market in New Zealand. The venue where it is being held (the Aotea Centre in downtown Auckland) is very nice and of course being two weeks before Christmas is prime gift-shopping time.

With this excitement though has come some major stress! December 11th is only six weeks away. My stocks are dwindling and I can no longer source the same copper pendant bezels I have been using. I have been thinking about making a move into making brass and silver items as well, so there is my push to do that. However, that means sourcing and buying whole new “sets” of supplies in each metal – chain, clasps, jump rings, and bezels. I ordered a small amount of silver supplies from a supplier in the States on Etsy but it has been two weeks and they still haven’t arrived.

I also need to create (read: buy and make displays for) my table at the fair. I didn’t have room in my baggage to bring anything with me, so I am starting over from scratch. There are several Flickr groups of craft fair displays so I have been perusing those and found some ideas, but when it comes to materials I have nothing!

On top of this, I am out of business cards and need to order more. I am in the middle of trying to focus my branding (hence all the new photos), so need to redesign my business cards, stickers and address labels. Also, the website (yes, I’m going ahead with that idea), so that I can put the address on the business cards, and packaging/little freebies for the craft fair. When in the States I used Vistaprint and then Moo for my cards, but I don’t think that’s going to be the most time or cost-efficient option for me now. Any Kiwis have any recommendations?

It’s all money, money, money. I haven’t started getting paid yet for my part-time job and well, you saw what happened with the money I earned from Emily. I am waiting on some U.S. cheques for my apartment security and car insurance refund to clear but they take 21 BUSINESS days to clear, so essentially a month after I put them in. It’s very frustrating to see my available balance today is $19 when my account balance is much higher but I can’t touch it!

Six weeks. Can I do it all?!

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In Which Averil Spends More Money Than She Has

First off, let me say that I really appreciate the thoughtful comments on my last post. Thank you so much for taking the time to give me your feedback and opinions on websites and blog posts. You guys are wonderful!

Ok so today -- after Emily and I delivered and set up for two weddings,she suggested we peruse the vintage and secondhand clothing stores on Karangahape Road in the central city. All in the name of business, of course – I was supposed to be looking for vintage brooches to incorporate into the wedding jewelry line that I am contemplating starting.

Well, ahem… let’s just say I got a little distracted at The Paper Bag Princess (everything is $20 and under!) and spent most of the money I had just earned by working for Emily. Never mind that I had been complaining all morning about how I had to decide between buying dog food and groceries for myself (guess who won…) While we were out though I got an email from Etsy that I had sold two items, so that makes up for it. Hooray!

But look, the two pretty cream shirts I bought serve a double purpose --- as props in my new jewelry photos! It was quite fun taking these photos, I felt like a fashion magazine stylist.

The trench however, well, I just had to have that ($20!). It looks new and feels so, so soft. I am a total sucker for tactilely (is that a word??) pleasing clothing. You can’t really see it in the photo but it has kind of a bubble hem which is quite unique. And look at the belt! So pretty. Now I just have to wear it ALL THE TIME or Emily will make fun of me for buying it.

When I moved back to Auckland last month, I had to be pretty ruthless in deciding what I was going to bring from my clothing and shoe wardrobe (which was actually already pretty meagre as a result of moving between Auckland and L.A. 3 times previously in the past 5 years) in order to keep my baggage to a reasonable amount.  So I feel that these purchases are somewhat warranted, despite the state of my bank account (I know Emily will be laughing at me as I write this, that I am still trying to justify this several hours later...)

Hope you are all enjoying the weekend as much as I am!

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Home Is Where The Art Is

So, currently, (and for the foreseeable future) I am back living at my parents' house.  I get huge pangs of missing my adorable little house in L.A.  I moved into that place when my marriage broke up, and it really was my sanctuary for two years.  It was all mine, just Kenzo and I, and although the rent is probably the reason why I have come back to NZ with basically nothing to show for four years of a decent-paying job, it was worth every penny.

This is not the house I grew up in either, so I doubly have that sense of not feeling at home.  I've been pondering how to rectify this (on a part-time budget).  I think some New Zealand art might be a good place to start - here is what I am eyeing:

Erin Carver

Sleep And Her Sisters

Pipi La La

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